Schlagwort-Archive: Appearance

Advantages of modesty

Restraint (遠慮) became in the course of the centuries a central attitude of the Japanese culture. The associated, apparently non-binding nature that is perceived as cagey in the west, has the purpose to avoid embarrassing the other people. This is done by rarely expressing directly the personal opinion in formal meetings with several participants. Messages are rather indirectly formulated without words and in a vague way. Contrary to the western “the winner gets all” mentality, in which there is always just one winner, the modesty offers everybody the possibility to save their face. In the last seventy years that did not stop Japan of becoming an economic global power.

Which advantages could we exploit in the west?

  • More substance than appearance
    Many results are not really as bad as it seems at first sight. Since the involved people tend to create too high expectations in their communication and often use superlatives, even in case of eventually modest results, it is difficult to get realistic evaluations. Additionally there is not enough leeway for the evaluation of really genuine results. This leads to the fact that the protagonists actually hold high demands on themselves – I can do everything. At the same time expectations are driven into illusory heights. This kind of high expectations cannot be fulfilled any longer.
    With the appropriate modesty goals could be agreed so smart that they are really attainable. To get more substance than appearance you should use superlatives only in exceptional cases, like for example: best, fastest, safest, most reliable, most favorable…
  • Rather Daedalus than Icarus
    Icarus is the classical example of hubris. This extreme form of pride and boastfulness produce unrealistic strategies. Icarus paid with his life for it. But as long as the individual survives his misjudgment, he will plan ever more risky ventures. And if the moment of truth comes, then the responsible person leaves the place of occurrence, carries his hubris forward and turns the next time a still larger wheel. The evolving collateral damage destroys the points of reference in the respective area. The employees get infected and are likewise addicted to a presumptuous exuberance.
    With the appropriate modesty the complacent hubris would be limited to a healthy level. For this purpose you do not have to put your light under a bushel, but to follow the example of Daedalus. With the appropriate attentiveness concerning your own behavior, you have the chance to nip the hubris in the bud.
  • Avoiding colonialism
    The overconfidence leads after a certain time to a form of colonialism. The others are perceived as inferior. This steadily increasing craving for recognition needs results in ever more unrealistic imaginations. One day the colonialists are no longer taken seriously.
    With the respective modesty the momentum to heal the world with your own essence would be reduced. All actions that load the team with negative energy harm in the end you. As soon as that you understand it, you have the choice – going on as before with the risk to fail on a long-term basis or to suppress the colonialism and to make everybody successful through an appreciating interaction.
  • Avoid populism
    Populism shows up in active offenses and continual insults. The others are dumb. Only we have the truth. Thus everybody, who does not belong to, is systematically excluded. This creates resistance of the people concerned and leaves the populists in ignorant hubris.
    With the respective modesty there would be sufficient room for respect. And respect would offer the affected people the possibility to master the assigned tasks. The largest destroyers of creative power are negative messages. Thereafter the apparent revaluation of oneself does not help anymore.

Some people believe that modesty drops one back. However, since the excessive promises of the other people rarely produce satisfying results, soon the chaff separates from the wheat. The result is determined by the bar height that has to be crossed. If the bar is too high, you can only tear it. Only the fulfilled order is the order fulfilled – and eighty percent is a good result, not twenty percent.

Bottom line: Since superlatives are too often used, it is time, to try the proven Asian modesty also in the west. Thus the rising requirement attitude and only with difficulty fulfill able expectations are brought to a realistic level. That way the hubris, the associated snobbism and the insulting defamations do evolve not so often. Eventually better results are possible through the advantages of modesty, since all involved people can make their utmost contribution.

Undermining oneself

Most tasks require a lot of preparation, mental stamina and serious efforts, in order to prepare the results. With the appropriate engagement the outcomes are normally presentable. Occasionally there are chances to share the experiences with others. Eventually there is even a remarkable presentation set. In the crucial moment, when all eyes are directed on you, one stumbles and undermines oneself.

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You could avoid most of the traps. The following bullets are some simple elements that you should evade in any cases.

  • Give an uncertain impression
    It all begins in the first seconds of the presentation. Hanging shoulders, lacking eye contact and a suffering facial expression without a trace of smile produce an incapable impression for the audience. The best content cannot compensate.
  • Arrogant appearance
    The opposite of an uncertain manner is the smug appearance that tells the listeners that they are dumb and should be grateful that one takes the time to explain the world to them. This begins with a cheeky greeting and goes to awkward teaching. Everybody knows how it works. Or not?
  • Speaking in an incomprehensible language
    “The intention of reminiscence is the reflection of the exorbitant quintessence that you forced upon by serendipity.” What a pity the good results are distorted by an incomprehensible language like this. It only takes many words, a set of subordinate clauses and links to exclude any meaning from a message. The target audience defines what they get. Who gives a Spaniard, who does not know English, a presentation in English. Or presents to a non-expert crowd information in an unknown jargon.
  • Load statement negatively
    “Unconsciously we do not believe that we cannot do many things and never know that we know nothing.” Although we are convinced that we control a lot instinctively and can always access our experiences, in order to contribute something. Words load a statement with energy that cramp the purpose – not, never, no, none, without, nothing, nobody. Prefixes are a fast way for negating, by putting them in advance: – a-social, in-competent, dis-informed, ir-relevant. In German you can even put words together, in order to give them an evaluation – gift+grün (bilious green), stink+fein (ritzy), or scheiß+freundlich (palsy-walsy).
  • Not getting ready for the event
    The safest way to fail is not to be prepared. To present off the cuff is a good idea in workshops or in other open situations. Presentations or sales talks without a clear operational sequence, ill prepared statements and unskillful exchange of thoughts are wasted opportunities for you and particularly for the audience.
  • Missing relation to the target group
    The reference to the target audience is created by the fact that you imagine previously the group with the mental eye. Although it consists of different individuals, who provide together a certain image – business types (e.g. developer vs. sales person), interests (e.g. vision vs. results) and attitudes (being vs. having). If you do not connect with the audience due to unawareness, you will inevitably fail.

The first step towards a solution is being aware of the previous bullets. Giving a sense of security, appearing modestly, expressing yourself clearly, and loading expressions positively, being prepared and connecting with the audience is the way out that however all have to develop for themselves.

Bottom line: The best result cannot be appreciated, if you undermine your own appearance by awkward behavior, an incomprehensible language and missing preparation. The effect that you get does not come for a large part from the conclusive and correct work result, but from the impression that you leave.